Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Motivational Monday #2 - My "relationship" with food...

Alright, no motivational quote this week.

I really just wanted to talk about something I realized last week.

I know this may sound cold or rude….

Well, as I've mentioned before I've been overweight most of my life. And throughout most of that time I've been going from diet after diet. In doing so, I read a lot about weight loss. I've read a lot about people's success stories or failures. In a lot of those posts, books, etc. you see a lot of mention of "emotional eating."

Honestly, I always thought it was a bunch of nonsense. I would look at my own overeating and just think "I eat because I'm a 'fat kid' at heart and I just love food."

I would always think how silly people were that would say "oh I gained weight because (insert sob story here)."

I would roll my eyes, and think something like

Um, no, you gained weight because you eat 5 cheeseburgers and 10 slices of pizza a day not because (reinsert sob story here)

I've really truly always believed that the "comfort food" idea is just a pretext for people that didn't want to get on a diet and are comfortable with hiding behind an excuse.

Well, then last week happened. I had a lot of things going on at work, a few very important meetings, a few deadlines, and a BIG interview (still keeping my fingers crossed on this one). It was just one of those weeks that had me feeling very overwhelmed. 

Every night after work all I wanted to do was go to "Whataburger" and buy myself a big juicy burger.

I didn't, of course, but I just kept thinking about it. So then I sat around (while eating my low cal dinner) and thought to myself "Why am I suddenly having these cravings? I've been doing so well, I have not had super intense cravings. So, why now?"

I came to the realization that after every long day at work I was leaving feeling anxious and exhausted, making me want to just sit down in from of the couch with something delicious. Not worry about cooking, not worry about counting, not worry about measuring, nothing. Just sit down, eat, and veg. 

For the first time, really ever, I noticed a connection between my anxiety and food.  

I gave it a lot of thought.

But here's what has kept me motivated:

Stay involved, engaged. Whatever you want to call it. I spend time reading success stories; watching weight loss journey videos on youtube; reading blogs; looking through the health, beauty, and fashion sections on pinterest; day dreaming about the things I'll fit into and the things I'll be able to do; looking up healthy recipes; etc. 

I try to keep myself thinking about my weightless journey. I read somewhere about a woman going through her own journey that mentioned she regrets not enjoying the process. She mentioned how she was so consumed with losing weight that she never thought to enjoy and really praise her own accomplishments. I think it's critical. If you don't give yourself a pat on the back and a high five every once in a while, you are more likely to fail. 

You have to be proud of yourself. 

At this point I've come so far and have already struggled through the almost 30 pounds I've lost. I don't want to go back. I don't want to ever see those higher numbers on the scale. No matter how delicious that "whataburger" may be. 

No food can be better than the joy I gain through every success.

No "stressful week" will break my commitment. 

I survived my need to eat "comfort food." (although I'm sure the cravings will come again)

I'm determined


I gave myself a big pat on the back :)

No comments:

Post a Comment